The blonde smiled across the table at Rachel, setting down her cup in front of her. Quinnie was definitely not cute. Her eyebrow arched slightly at Rachel’s comment, but she filed her curiosity in the back of her mind, something she should definitely over-analyze at a later date. She was simply content that Rachel was enjoying her trip. Though she knew New York was Rachel’s dream, Quinn was glad that she was definitely more excited, rather than nervous, to move to the big city.
Taking another sip of her coffee, she took in Rachel’s unexpected question. She offered the brunette a small nod before setting her cup on the table. “I have. It gets better everyday, really. Which I guess means that you were right, it’s not truly terrifying once you get past the initial shock,” she said, flashing Rachel a smile. While she was growing slightly more comfortable with the concept, Quinn still definitely wasn’t ready to shout it out to the world, let alone allow anyone to overhear their conversation in a coffee shop. With her luck, a distant relative would happen by and overhear their conversation. So the blonde was thankful Rachel had spoken a few tones quieter than her usual conversation voice.
“I think,” she paused, tucking some of her hair behind her ear, “like I told you before, I don’t think I’m attracted to guys like most girls are. And I don’t even know about girls, I haven’t exactly been looking into that really.” The blonde took a moment, glancing down at the table. She hated that this topic of conversation made her nervous, especially around Rachel. Quinn tried to word her sentences carefully, to leave her unrequited feelings out of the equation completely, but it didn’t really help to get her point across. “I guess,” she started, looking back up at Rachel to meet her eyes with her own., “I know for a fact that I definitely wouldn’t be opposed to being with a girl.” She shrugged slightly, trying to keep the conversation from growing too heavy, before adding “but I’m not exactly checking out girls left and right. I think you’re right when you were saying personality is the most important fact.”
The blonde was trying to be as subtle as possible in regards to her feelings. She had promised Rachel that nothing would change between the two of them. And, despite that promise, things had, even if it was a barely noticeable change. The last thing Quinn wanted to do was to scare Rachel away or make her uncomfortable. She knew how terrible unwanted advances were, she had had enough throughout high school to know that for a fact. But that didn’t make it any less difficult for the blonde to refrain from discussing her feelings. If she was being completely honest, the correct answer to Rachel’s question would’ve been something along the lines of “I fell in love with you, I haven’t exactly been looking at anyone else, boy or girl.” Instead, Quinn opted to lean back in the wooden chair and smile at the brunette, trying her best to tell Rachel the real answer via eye contact rather than words.
Rachel listened intently as Quinn discussed her confusion about her sexuality, and she nodded as the blonde explained that it was becoming easier with time. Although she never struggled with the knowledge of her fluid sexuality due to her being raised by two gay dads, she understood how distressing it would be to suddenly realize you weren’t what society deemed “normal.” They’d witnessed the bullying Kurt faced during their junior year, and they’d both stood up for Santana when she was bombarded with offensive and crude comments after being outed to the school. Rachel could only imagine how difficult it must have been for Quinn in the very beginning. She came from a conservative household that believed in strictly following the Bible. The brunette doubted “acceptance” was even in the Fabrays’ vocabulary. That was why she told herself she’d always be there to support the blonde. Even if their relationship didn’t progress into anything more, she would always lend her shoulder for Quinn to cry on.
“You don’t have to label yourself so quickly, Quinn,” Rachel reminded her, warm brown eyes focused solely on hazel ones. She hoped Quinn could see and hear her sincerity when they discussed this topic. “You don’t have to label yourself at all. This summer should be spent discovering who you are and who you like rather than trying to pin yourself in one specific category. I can assure you that I’ll love you just the same whether you’re a lesbian, bisexual, or pansexual - like myself. You need to find yourself and find happiness. You can focus on how to explain your sexuality to others when you’re prepared to come out.”
Rachel gave Quinn a sweet smile before talking a long sip of her icy drink. “You’ve made it clear that you’re open to the idea of being with girls,” she began, quickly scanning the coffee shop to make sure no one else was listening to their conversation. They all seemed too absorbed in their laptops, cell phones, and respective partners. She was certain that would relieve the blonde, who’d only ever discussed this with Rachel in private. “But… Are you open to the idea of being with boys as well? I know there are plenty of ignorant people, some of whom are in the gay community, who dispute bisexuality and deny it’s existence, but I believe it’s very much real. I know from experience that a person is capable of having an emotional and sexual attraction to both genders. Perhaps that’s how you feel.” Rachel tried to word that carefully, especially after she’d just given her Steer Clear of Labels! speech. She didn’t want Quinn to think that she was confining her to a box that read “Bisexuality,” but she wanted to better understand Quinn’s emotions. She wanted to help Quinn better understand them.